Normally I try to write a jokey little post here about how we couldn't stay on-topic. Not this week. We talk about the real people who don super-suits and clean up the streets, and I don't feel any need to joke about this because it's awesome. Trust me; you want to listen to this episode. It's a good 'un.
How exactly can door-holding go wrong? All sorts of ways! Maybe there's a tiger on the other side of the door or something! But even if there isn't, you're walking into a minefield of nostalgia and chivalry every time you hold a door for someone. If you want to survive, and maybe learn a few things about courtesy, Picture Pages, and the Supermoon, you should probably listen to this show.
Right now, on Earth, a group of billionaires have gotten together and decided we should extract resources from asteroids. And they're building a spaceship to do it. Yes, it's a topic so awesome that we didn't even bother picking it at random. Learn all about who's involved, what they're doing, why it rules, and whether or not Bruce Willis should go up there with them. Plus, listener questions, and the premiere of Johnny's new catchphrase!
Hybrids! It's a kind of car, but it's also a sciencey word for abomination! And if there's one thing we love here at Breakfast with the Beak, it's an unholy mutant squawking for our attention. Join us on a whirlwind tour of the world of genetic engineering, from the humble mule to the mighty spider-goat! Enjoy a grapefruit, or try your luck with the delicious but deadly tomacco! Battle giant bees with baseball bats, and marvel at the amazing wolf-pug! All this, plus a lot of talk about teacup pigs for some reason.
Fruit snacks, am I right? They sure do come in some crazy shapes. At least we think they do; we haven't really kept up with them since elementary school. So the show mostly ends up being about the Titanic, Kim Jong Un, and our ongoing back-and-forth with Jay V Mail. Come for the show, stay for the Johnny's impression of a Manic Pixie Dream Girl.
Oh, that's right: this topic was submitted in all-caps. And we decided to go with it, because it's a topic that demands the caps lock key. We can choose any totalitarian hellscape we want! So naturally, we decide to talk about Easter candy, behind-the-scenes publishing-world gossip, and alternate titles for John Carter. Oh, and the Hunger Games. I mean, if you're part of that tiny cult audience.
How has no one asked us about the Muppets until now? And how have they never come up during any of the times that we've drifted off-topic? In short, why isn't everyone constantly thinking about the Muppets? We can't answer that, but we're happy to answer just about any other Muppet-related questions our fans might care to ask. We've also got a few words on the subject of remakes, and a halfhearted defense of Jason Segel. Mostly Muppets, though, so I hope you're into that.
Season Two kicks off with what is easily one of the weirdest topics we've ever received. So of course we had a lot to say about it. How are soft drinks named, and who makes these decisions? Whatever happened to those big kegs of McDonalds orange drink? Why would we ever apologize for last week's show? What's Willard Scott up to these days? All this, plus a whole lot of speculation about origins of blue raspberry!
We're all ready to start Season 2 of the podcast! Well, we will be, as soon as we eat these awesome waffles.
For our season one finale, we got trolled again. A clever fan has exploited the topic-suggestion system, and we decided to go along with it because it was pretty funny, and it gave us an excuse to talk about Monopoly. Where lesser broadcasters would simply wax nostalgic about the little Scottie dog, we focus on the plague of collectable sci-fi-themed board games and the sheer pointlessness of trying to build a hotel on a triceratops. Will that make sense in context? Yes it will. As will our total disrespect for the legacy of Merv Griffin.
