CNN has reported that President-Elect Barack Obama will now be receiving the same top-secret daily briefings that President Bush gets from the nation’s sixteen intelligence agencies, a full two-and-a-half months before the inauguration, to insure a smooth wartime administration transition. Obama has been assigned two CIA officers to get him up to speed on the biggest secrets in America, and he recieved his first PDB (Presidential Daily Briefing) today. One can only speculate on the mind-boggling information regularly contained in those reports, and the potential effects they might have on we huddled masses. Long-standing conspiracies? Orders from the Illuminati? Recent activities of the Lizardmen? Probably not, but, there is one thing to consider: if there are any aliens from outer space living among us, this may have been the day when they officially told Obama about it.

It’s been almost a full forty-eight hours since Barack Obama was elected President, and thus far, no flying saucers have landed in any major American cities to congratulate us. (At least, none that anyone has told us here at The Beak about.) Nevertheless, today we’re officially launching Alien Watch 2008, and placing all our readers with an interest in UFOs on “Heightened Alert” status.

Why, you ask? Our theory is that, if there are aliens watching us, they may take the progressive and paradigm-shifting election of Obama as a sign that humanity is on the verge of maturing, and is worthy of direct communication. Though, perhaps aware that we are a rather panicky species of ape, the aliens may prefer to meet with Obama privately, rather than touching down on the White House lawn in full view of the media.

Granted, we can only guess at what criteria an extraterrestrial might consider before initiating communication. In the movie Star Trek: First Contact, for example, the Vulcans only bothered to talk to humanity after Zefram Cochran invented a space ship with warp drive capability. We don’t have that yet, but we do have the Large Hadron Collider, which is pretty impressive (or it will be, if they ever fix the fucking thing).

But perhaps socio-political factors are more important than technological ones, and the Star Man has really just been waiting for us to choose a leader who isn’t a complete idiot. If this is the case, then the time of First Contact may be at hand. Obviously, this is all hypothetical. I have no proof that there even are any aliens out there watching us, or if there ever have been, or if there ever will be. But other people claim to know, and we can damn well report on them and see if any coherent picture emerges. So, to start things off, let’s take a look at the latest UFO sightings!

Here’s one, reportedly shot in Helsinki, Finland on November 3rd, 2008. It’s basically a fuzzy pulsing light changing colors from yellow to orange, which, about 85 seconds in, shifts to a band of lights that correspond to what an array of lights on a saucer-shaped aircraft would look like. Six minutes in, and the light changes into the lumpy form of New Jersey. The narrator sounds quite baffled about the whole thing.

Here’s another one, shot over British Columbia, Canada, on November 2, 2008. It features at least two dozen blurry little dots flying in the evening sky, that look a hell of a lot like migrating seabirds.

I haven’t found any footage shot since the results of the election, but these two samples prove one thing: people all over the world see stupid shit in the sky and film it rather poorly. At any rate, we’ll be paying attention, so e-mail us at The Beak if you see anything spacey. Oh, and aliens, if you’re reading this: So far we think Obama is a pretty good representative for our people. Please be nice to him.