Here Comes Science, the new release from They Might Be Giants, is the greatest children’s album in the history of recorded music.

I don’t have children of my own, and I don’t have any close friends with children, and I don’t even particularly like children, so I know next-to-nothing about the music that is typically aimed at them. But seeing as a quick search on Amazon suggests such inane drivel as 20 Simply Super Singable Silly Songs and Choo Choo Soul, I feel safe in my assumption. I’m also leaving out such classics as The Tiger Lillies’ masterpiece Shockheaded Peter, because that isn’t actually an album for children so much as it is an album for people who hate children. That being said, whether or not Here Comes Science is literally the best children’s album ever, the fact remains that it’s really fucking good.

Here Comes Science is TMBG’s third educational album for children, following Here Come the ABCs and Here Come the 123s. Both earlier efforts have their merits; though the subject matter is, understandably, limited. How much can you really say in a song about learning how to count? This new effort, in contrast, gives the Giants ample room to shine, which will be no surprise to long-term fans familiar with TMBG classics (found on regular albums aimed at adults!) like “Why Does the Sun Shine?” and “Mammal.”

In its purist form, Here Comes Science is an album about how awesome science is. “I Am a Paleontologist,” for example, is about how exciting it is to have a career in a scientific profession. “My Brother the Ape” is a song about coming to terms with the realization that all life on Earth stems from a single common ancestor (with joyful results). Other songs get down to the business of straight education to catchy rhythms and metaphors, like “The Bloodmobile” (which compares the circulatory system to mass transit), “Solid Liquid Gas,” (which features a neat little device where the singing speeds up or slows down in relation to the movement of the atoms in each state of matter), and “Roy G. Biv” (which is so catchy it could be a standard pop song instead of a kids’ song).

One thing I love about Here Comes Science is that it never feels condescending or dumbed-down. The information is accurate and loaded with big words that children may not know on their first listening, but which they will assimilate given time (in other words, kids who own this album are likely to have the best vocabularies in their classes — hint hint, parents). Parents can listen to the album with their kids without wanting to bang their heads against the wall, and the subject matter is sure to be genuinely thought-provoking.

The real greatness behind Here Comes Science, however, is that it features Stephen Colbert-sized balls. One would expect, in a country where the rational regularly bend over backward to avoid offending the staunchly irrational, that anything potentially controversial might be edited out. This is not the case, and They Might Be Giants are to be commended for their bravery in this matter above all else. The album’s opening song, “Science is Real,” begins with the following lyrics:

“I like the stories
About angels, unicorns and elves
Now I like the stories
As much as anybody else
But when I’m seeking knowledge
Either simple or abstract
The facts are with science…”

When those lyrics were revealed earlier this month, P.Z. Myers (scientist/atheist blogger superhero) posted a quick commentary on his blog displaying some of the angry comments the album received on Amazon.com even before the album was released:

“As a Christian I’m offended by comparing unicorns, elves with angels. Unicorns and Elves are fiction, and angels are biblical. End of story.”
–Some idiot.

Yeah. In other words, John and John are pissing off all the right people.

The best, and most potentially influential, song on Here Comes Science, in my opinion, is “Put it to the Test.” On its surface, it’s an educational song about the Scientific Method. In reality, it’s a scathing attack on all forms of bullshit. Relevant lyrics include:

“Are you sure that that thing is true?
Or did someone just tell it to you?
Come up with a test…

…Find a way to show what would happen
If you were incorrect
A fact is just a fantasy
Unless it can be checked…

…Don’t believe it ’cause they say it’s so
If it’s not true, you have a right to know
Put it to the test…”

Remember now, this is an album for children. And while the Scientific Method is the single greatest tool for every kind of experimentation, this song has a deeper meaning. TMBG is saying, “Hey kids! You know all those adults that tell you things? All those parents and teachers and politicians and clergymen? It’s quite possible that they’re full of shit. Don’t just take them at their word. Demand proof.” And that is the best lesson any child can learn. Thank you, very sincerely, Mr. Flansburgh and Mr. Linnell, for respecting us enough to try to save our future generations from becoming tomorrow’s gullible morons.