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February 17, 2007
SAT Upgrades Make Twentysomethings Feel Old
It’s bad enough that Nick at Nite is now playing reruns of Growing Pains (I’m lying; pre-9/11, pre-global warming, Reaganomics-wallowing 1980s American sitcoms make me feel guiltily nostalgic, and I love it), now the Educational Testing Service and the College Board are in on making us twentysomethings feel like old fogeys before we should. At least, that’s what I discovered after I was told that my teenage cousin recently scored a 2300 on her SAT’s. What’s that, you say? When did that become possible?
Members of Generation X (”back in my day; get off my lawn!”) will no doubt recall an SAT with a maximum possible score of 1600: 800 math, 800 verbal. You might even remember the time slacker-wonderboy Zack Morris humiliated Jessie Spano by scoring a 1501 on Saved By the Bell. Well, kiss those days goodbye.
The SAT, which used to mean Scholastic Aptitude Test, Scholastice Achievement Test, and Scholastic Assessment Test before the words were officially declared meaningless in 1994, was altered in 2005 from a 1600-point scale to a 2400-point scale. The categories? Now they’re broken up into Mathematics, Critical Reading, and Writing, each worth a maximum of 800 points. Yep, equal representation for all three of the R’s. Meaningless? Maybe, and maybe not. Depends on how you feel about math.
If you’re good at math and suck at reading & writing, you’re screwed now (or maybe not, as we’ll see). But if you suck at math and kick ass at writing and vocabulary (like myself and many others on The Beak’s staff), you’re in much better shape. Or, again, maybe not.
Because while a higher English skills-based SAT score will still get you a better shot at college acceptances and scholarships, college and employment are two very different things. According to CNNMoney.com’s “Most Lucrative Degrees for 2007 Grads” article published on February 8th, English and other Liberal Arts-related jobs are still in short supply, and short on cash.
Engineering, Accounting, and Computer Science jobs are all expected to see solid growth in both availability and income this year. Marketing and Business Administration-related jobs are expected to skyrocket in lucrativeness. What’s projected to go down this year? Income and employment for people with Liberal Arts degrees, and that includes English, the college major where people who are good at reading and writing go to party for 4-to-6 years.
Let’s review: America’s educators and test administrators have recently decided that reading and writing are a top priority for our students, and deserve more time and testing than mathematics. America’s job market, on the other hand, prefers economics, mathematics and technology. So why wasn’t Marketing or Mechanical Engineering a required course in the 11th grade? I don’t know, but in retrospect, it’s pissing me off.
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October 19, 2006
Tutors for Toddlers: It’s About Time
Earlier this evening NBC Nightly News correspondent Dawn Fratangelo ran a quick piece screaming blue murder about the latest American parenting trend: tutoring companies expanding their programs to include sessions for three-to-six-year-olds. These programs, in essence, offer extra teaching to students at a time when their learning potential is at its strongest. In response to such programs, one flabbergasted mother was quoted as saying, “I think it’s crazy… We have to let our kids be kids and we have to let them play.”
Tell me, parents of America: just what the hell do you have against education?
I’m serious, go up to anyone you care to try and ask them how many stupid people they’ve encountered today. Odds are, they’ll start bitching up a storm about the retard who cut them off at the traffic light, or the imbecile who got their order wrong at McDonald’s, or their idiotic Old Boys’ Club boss who’s too short-sighted to hand them a promotion. And you know what? There are a lot of stupid people in this country. Always have been. Am I the only one who considers that a bad thing?
Evidently not. A more sensible parent, also interviewed in the show’s segment, defended her decision to enroll her three-year-old in one such early tutoring program. “My main goal is to have her ahead of the class,” said Gina Moreno. “I don’t want her to be the kid that needs [an] after-school program, that needs help.” Bravo, Mrs. Moreno. Your daughter will have a bright future. Hell, even if she has a terrible future, she’ll be friggin’ literate.
Fratangelo’s piece worries about, “kindergarten becoming more academic and waiting lists for the right schools long.” I’ve got news for you: getting into the “right schools” is a quaint little problem for rich people. The average American child is enrolled in a poorly-funded public school where a lot of the available energy is devoted to discipline, security, and the eradication of soda machines. Noble goals, I suppose, but can you blame parents for trying to fit in a little extra learning?
Seriously, why is this even an issue? Forget competition, how about the value of sheer intelligence? If I had a kid, and that kid learned to read at age three, and was better than I am at math now at age five, I for one would be the proudest parent in suburbia.
The dark side of all of this, of course, is that these programs cost money. The featured program, “Junior Kumon”, reportedly costs $220 a month. Can you put a price on a good education? Apparently.
Sure, anything Junior Kumon can teach can be taught at home for free. I mean, if you don’t know arithmetic or the ABC’s, it’s time to put your kid up for fucking adoption. But let’s not forget those parents out there who are either too busy or too lazy to step up the education at home. If their home situation is a forgone conclusion, why not throw in a happier alternative?
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