The greatest problem with religious video games, the problem that made them funny and pathetic at the same time, was they way they attempted to work around one of the hallmarks of gaming — namely, killing shit. I recall one Christian game for the NES which was essentially an action game, except with Bibles taking the place of ammunition. When you shot your enemies, instead of falling down dead, they knelt down and prayed. The concept was the same as countless far-more-violent games, but at least the screen wasn’t filled with pixelated corpses.
Yeah, that shit’s about to fuckin’ change.
Yes, it’s a “Left Behind” strategy game, based on the best-selling series of Evangelical novels of the same title. Unlike the cheesy Christian games of years past, this one uses next-generation technology and a realistic New York City setting, in which you join up with the forces of righteousness, find heathens, and fucking kill them. Not with prayer or any weak shit like that. With bullets. Admittedly, there’s also a “spiritual warfare” element, in which you can try to convert the Jews, Muslims, gays, secularists, etc. But sometimes, the conversion doesn’t take, and you move on to plan B. Which is to say the killing.
And just like “Starcraft” let you play as the Zerg, “Left Behind” lets you play as the followers of the Antichrist, turning your guns on the Evangelical forces. Of course, the Christians will be more than happy to kill you right back.
And hey, just to amp up this toxic super-freakout of a story even more, how about this: the whole affair is tied up with a megachurch empire led by pastor Rick Warren, a.k.a. the “Purpose-Driven Life” dude. Apart from a conventional advertising campaign in gaming magazines, Warren hopes to see the game marketed and distributed through megachurches nationwide. And why the fuck not? You can already get your your music, your espresso, and your salvation in one place, so why not toss some holy carnage into the mix?
If you’re like me, you think this is some kind of joke. Surely they wouldn’t come right out and say “kill the infidels” like that? Well, it’s real, and Gamespot has a page for it. Take a look at the screenshots if you need proof of all the killing that’ll be going on. There’s not much ambiguity here; we’re looking at little digital New Yorkers getting blown the fuck up by dudes in military uniforms.
Don’t get me wrong here, I love me some violent video games. And I’m reluctant to heap too much criticism on this project, not because it isn’t a colossally bad idea (it totally is), but because I’ve spent a lot of time slowly and deliberately explaining that no, I do not want to go out and kill people after playing one of these games. Then again, I’ve never heard a sermon about the coming war with the orcs, or read a book about “reparative therapy” for zombies — not one that was presented as non-fiction, at least. Even the infamous “Grand Theft Auto” is far from realistic; if you do that shit, you’re gonna get caught or killed in the process.
But to steal a line from Dr. Venture, can’t you see how this is maybe different? After all, the events of the “Left Behind” books (and the game) are being presented as something that’s going to happen fairly soon, and this material is being marketed to people who share that belief. Even the most loathsome violence in “GTA” is presented as part of the game’s decidedly unrealistic world, but “Left Behind” has more in common with the grimness of “The Passion of the Christ” (a comparison made by the game’s developers). Which is to say, realistic or not, you’re expected to take it seriously.
Screw it. I’m not going to get my head around this madness anytime soon, so I’ll just point out that it’s creepy as hell, and maybe come back to it after I’ve had a stiff drink.
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